Friday, April 18, 2014

Thou shalt not blog while emotional....

I just highlighted and deleted almost every word I pounded out on Wednesday. It felt good to write it, but as clearer heads prevailed, I knew it would do no good to publish.

Just incase you missed it, Captain Wonderful decided he wasn't feeling it on Wednesday. Some details should stay private and my mother reads this blog (Hi Mom!!!) and you know....Moms. In a nutshell after talking for a month and dating for another month, he decided to take the high road and disappear until I texted him 3 days after our last contact. He then made me aware of his current position via text.

or text....
I post on Facebook: Once again, completely and undeniably single. — feeling meh. My friends swarm. Some throw platitudes my way: His loss. The right one will come along. Stop looking. Some think they are funny (Hi KB!). My bother is a realist and reminds me that I may never meet Mr. Right. One friend rightfully pointed out it was Passover (but I haven't eaten anything forbidden yet!)

The nicest thing a friend posted was:
Your life is not defined by solely one man showing up rather by the friends, family and company you keep. You may check "single" on the marital status box but that certainly doesn't describe you. (JB)
She is right. I am surrounded by family and friends who love me. I am single. I am not alone nor lonely. Coach reminded me today that he puts up with me. I reminded him I pay him.

I spent most of Wednesday tearing or fighting back tears, and then I put on my big girl running shoes and kicked out an awesome run this morning with my Running Husband.

So for me it is back to my old stand-by: training. I'm not sure what y'all find more interesting, my inability to date or my training.

For those saying training: you should know that Wednesday morning (before I got kicked to the curb) I dropped over 30 seconds from my 1.2 mile pool swim!

I'm also trying to sort out what races to sign up for after IMFL. Dopey opens up next week and it is so very tempting but it is cost prohibitive and 3 days off work. Then there is the Space Coast Marathon with an awesome Challenger commemorative medal and a bunch of friends running it but is it too close to IMFL?

For those of you who find my inability to date just as intriguing as my training, GOOD NEWS! Coach has decided to add a 4th dimension to my IM training. It will now be:

He says I'm getting dating workouts now. I wonder what that icon will look like on TrainingPeaks?


  1. Oh Shawna. I'm sorry over the breakup. But JB was right. You are so much more than the guy you are dating. And definitely more than a guy who breaks up over text.
    I know I'm not your pace, but anytime you want to talk while the other person cannot talk back because she is huffing and puffing so much, holler at me to run with you ;)

    I sometimes tell myself that I'd still be single if I wasn't born Indian and had an arranged marriage :)

    - Smitha

    1. Smitha, I would love to run with you! Let's figure out when we can do it.

  2. Yeah, it really was an awesome run and I think we both needed it for different reasons. Nice how we are sometimes in sync that way ;-)