Probably Not Going to Leave a Mark....

I fell yesterday. I didn't fall like two of my friends who had extensive dates with gravity recently. I just fell off the food wagon. Or maybe I jumped. I knew what I was doing. I knew I shouldn't. But I did anyway. It tasted good. It was in the house.

I am almost OCD about my training, but not about my food. Want to celebrate? Let's eat! You're sad? Let's eat! Feel good? Let's eat! Bad day? Let's eat! I'm having the hardest time rewiring my head to view food as fuel to do my training and sustain life and nothing else.

Hell, I am this person:

Sunday night I cook. I prep. I store. Everything I need to eat through Friday is prepped and just needs to be opened or heated. I am prepared to have a successful week with my food. Every week, I'm prepared.

I stalk Training Peaks on Sunday nights to see what my workouts are going to be so I can arrange my life around them (perk of being single, no kids, no dog). I PRIORITIZE my workouts. If it isn't on my schedule, I don't do it.

What is my issue with if it isn't on my meal plan, don't eat it?

Now before you all go cray-cray on me about everything I've accomplished and I should cut myself some slack....last night was my worst tumble... but I step off more then I should.


 These crackers live in my office. They aren't mine, but I know I can have whenever I want.

I am my own worst enemy. I am my own road block to success.
You would think after seeing pictures of myself from my race on Saturday in my tri-kit (the top and bottom I wear to race) I would want to buckle down this week.


It seems like everything I do that's social involves food. We swim Monday nights and go out for dinner after. I play trivia with friends on Wednesdays at a restaurant. Tomorrow, I'm seeing friends I haven't seen in forever and yes...for dinner. I know I have choices. I know I can choose a salad with the dressing on the side over a sandwich and fries. For some reason I EASILY make the decision to set my alarm clock for 4:30am to get up and get my work out in but can't say no to dessert. And some days I'm better than others. I just wish I could put the same discipline to my food as I do to my training.

I have the tools. I have the support. I just can't keep that damn fork out of my mouth. I'm the only one that can fix this.

Today is a new day.... while it is only 3:00 in the afternoon, I still have not had a cracker. I'm chalking that up to a win.