The Start Line That Almost Wasn't...

For the past month, I had legitimately considered not staring IM Chattanooga. I'm not injured. No one in my family is gravely ill. My training is right on schedule with the usual ups and downs and seemingly more ups this cycle than downs. I had a fantastic race at Ironman Chattanooga 70.3. For all intents and purposes, I had no real reason to pull out.

Except I didn't want to do it.

I just didn't want to race. I didn't want to do more long bike rides. I just didn't want to. 3 weekends ago when I did a random gravity check off my bike (I tipped over, no big deal) the thought ran through my head: If my wrist is broken, I don't have to do Chat. Y'all...talk about an unhealthy place to be!

I'll spare you the bloody knee and elbow.

A few people knew about my angst, but really not the right people. I didn't tell my coach, I just got whinier in my debrief post workouts. I didn't talk it over with my fiance. (That still seems so weird to say!). Until I finally did.

Many things are different this training cycle.

I switched jobs in December 2016 to coaching at the collegiate level which is anything but 9-5 like the last job. The summer was easy to train as while every weekend was taken with traveling, I had a teammate who works weekends and we did our long stuff together mid week. (Hi Snowflake!!!). But then school kicked back up and I'm experiencing "off season" for the first time and all the meetings and responsibilities that go with it. And the stress.

And I started dating someone who is crazy enough to want to marry me. I'm still wrapping my head around that. I digress. I have someone else who wants my time and more importantly, I want to give my time to. I want to give my time to him and my future stepkids.

I was pushing through because I thought everyone would be disappointed in me if I didn't finish what I started.

Seems I was wrong. Coach and I had a long conversation and he gave me his blessings if I wanted to DNS (Did not start) Ironman Chattanooga. I told Coach I'd discuss it with B.

So I did. B and I spoke for a while about it. I just couldn't wrap my head around quitting. If you've been around long enough, you know that I DON'T QUIT. I might be the last one in off the ride. I might be the last one running. I DON'T QUIT. I wasn't going to start now. There were so many reasons I couldn't throw in the towel. I push my athletes to find a way and get through the suck. I spew positivity in Ironwilled: Women Who Tri. I have kids (some younger some older) who are amazed at what I do. I couldn't come up with being okay with telling any of these people, or my own ego, that I was going to tap out.

I went to Dynamo Camp last weekend and ran 16 on Friday, rode 115 on Saturday, did a tri (750m swim, 18 mile bike, 4 mile run) on Sunday. I needed to find a way for one more long workout. It should have been next weekend, but the only weekend I could rerate for my lacrosse officiating is then in Nashville. B and I talked it over and instead of a leisurely vacation in Jacksonville Labor Day weekend, I was bringing my bike. Yup, B said Sunday's a perfect day for you to go do your race sim.

We (with the kids) headed to Jacksonville Friday night and Saturday enjoyed the beach, a trip to watch the Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp play baseball and before any of that, we drove the route I was going to train so I could see where stores were if needed.

It's challenging to get a picture with everyone looking in the same direction.

On Sunday, with the full support of B, I headed out to go ride 100 miles and then run for 90 minutes in the middle of our weekend vacation. He brought the kids to my 70 mile sag stop, and then cheered me on a few more times on the loop. Then after the day at the beach with them, he and the friends we were visiting went to the ball park. All the time I'm out riding and then running. When I finished he even gave me a pass to skip the ball game and just veg for the night. I met them at the ball park. A little tired. A little sore. Very happy I got that workout in.

When you aren't a swift cyclist, 100 miles takes a while!

With support like that, a coach who says scheduling my workouts is like doing a puzzle without a border but gets me ready anyway, and a training crew as awesome as mine; there just isn't anyway I couldn't go jump in the river at Chat.

So let's go! A handful more workouts. A long run or so. And it is race day!!! It's time to complete my last IM for a while. Chat 70.3 will be my big race of 2018 and then I'm pulling back on distance. I have a wedding to plan and a family I want to spend time with. Ironman isn't going anywhere and there are plenty of options within triathlon that will give me more time to spend with them.

I'll say thanks again after I'm done, but a very special thank you to Brent Pease and Dynamo Multisport, Stacy Sims (my roomie, project manager, and Dyna Coach), Snowflake for sharing ride time and poptarts, and B who swears I do actually have a heart. Let's go make my last IM one hell of a good time!