Friday, January 15, 2016

Time to Lighten the Load...

I'm tired of being tired. Why am I tired? It isn't like I have kids. (Snarky reference to that stupid meme that says people who don't have children don't know exhaustion.) I'm tired because I over commit myself. I'm busy. I'm busy all the time. Therefore I don't get enough down time and I don't get enough one-on-one time with my bed and I'm spontaneously crying for no apparent reason.  (Special thanks to a friend who admitted this happens to her too. I appreciated her sharing cause I thought she had this adulting thing down.) And because I'm so very tired so often, I'm finding it tougher to deal with disappointments, you stuff.

So what's going to give... not as a resolution but as a life style shift? I'm going to start saying no thank you, and I'm going to stop being the first to volunteer unless it's really something I want to participate in or something very meaningful.

What cannot give:
My day job. Why you ask? I get paid biweekly and I did not win the Powerball. I'm disappointed also.

What I'm not willing to give:
Refereeing lacrosse. It pays for triathlon and I almost always enjoy it. #whistlewhileyouwork
Triathlon. I did cut back on distance this year. Call it a compromise.
Ironwilled: Women who Tri. If I need to explain why...It's like you don't know me.
Coaching. My adult athletes are all remote and a complete blast to work with. (I've got room for 2 more this season, just saying."

What can give:
Starting in December and concluding last week, I've stepped away from volunteering on a consistent basis for my neighborhood. To those of you who volunteer on your neighborhood association, God bless you!

I survived my full 1 year term on the association board as vice-president. I probably should add that to my LinkedIn profile. I digress. I don't know what I actually took away from it. I do not believe I achieved any sort of personal growth during my term. My fault? Maybe, maybe not. I know by not serving another term I get back 4 hours a month (drive time + 3 hour meeting) from not attending a monthly board meeting and my gmail account has exponentially less emails wanting my attention. That's TWO days back to myself just from not going to a meeting. And my gmail quiet!

I gave up my neighborhood Facebook group that I started and was the moderator for. Like life, this group ebbs and flows and there were times it was a great community. However, lately, it seems that the squeakiest wheels just want to squeak. They don't want to offer solutions. They don't want to stop squeaking. They just want to make noise. I'm out of diplomacy for these squeakers. I asked for someone else to take over the admin role for the group as I'd been it for 2 years or so. Only one person out of 170 offered. If you aren't part of the solution then you are part of the problem, and we're talking about improving our homes. I'm still around, but someone else can drag the horse to water.

It was not hard (not easy either by the way) to walk away from these obligations because they brought limited joy to my life. I can honestly acknowledge I'm not on my couch at night wishing I was at a meeting. I'm not disappointed that 2 people in the neighborhood Facebook group don't get the point of the group and need to be refocused and stop acting like children in the group. I'm not going to be the one who has to do it.

My volunteer efforts will be focused where they are not only meaningful, but appreciated.

However, not everything I've yielded has been an easy decision.

The most recent endeavor I decided to put on hold was Ironwilled: Kids who Tri. We will not continue in the summer of 2016. IWK was a recreational youth triathlon program that Amy and I kicked off last summer. We met with the kids 3 times a week for an hour-plus for about 8-10 weeks. It was a cost-free program and I really enjoyed working with the kids and their parents. However, it was at least a 6-8 hour commitment every week with drive time, prep, activity, clean up.
To do it right, and I don't do junk, I need more time to dedicate to it. I do not have the time nor the resources to focus on this right now. Right now. I may revisit it in the future as I do believe there is a need for non-competitive/non-elite programming for kids, but now is not the time for it to be singlehandedly produced by me. There are some great programs in the area over seen by full time staff. I posted my resignation letter in our group this afternoon. IWK was a great idea. It still is a great idea. But life happens and I'm not in a good place to lead it.

I've already identified some new endeavors to get involved with when the time is right. Until then, I'm working on saying no unless it's something I really want to be involved with, trying to adult better, and getting to sleep earlier.

And on that note...


  1. Shauna I love reading your blog!! If you want a real long distance coaching challenge - I'm desperate to do an ironman but no idea where to start!

  2. Learning that "no" is a complete sentence was life changing for me!

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