Too Many Thoughts to Keep Bottled Up....

"You've been really quiet this year." "I was just going to message you and ask you if I'd missed your blog postings."

Pretty sure I've mentioned before that I didn't have much to say this go round. I made a conscious decision a few months ago to deactivate every and any dating profile that I had posted anywhere. It wasn't that I was/am opposed to dating, I just decided I didn't have the time or emotional energy to put in to forcing it. That means I have no dating stories. No good. No bad. No ugly. Simply no tales to be shared.

So let's talk training. Ironman Louisville is in like 20 days or something ridiculous like that. I'm really trying not to do a count down. I'm out of the primary Facebook group for IMLOU. It just doesn't have the same vibe as the IMFL group and after one too many panic emails to coach he finally said, "I need you to leave that group. Please." So I did. I've also unfollowed a bunch of people who are posting countdowns and panic postings. I just can't right now. I'm really trying to focus on me.

The most current panic (weather watches haven't started yet) is the green slime in the Ohio River. Nothing like a national organization saying don't touch the water. There is nothing I can do about the river. If WTC/IM tells me to get in the water, I'm getting in. If they tell us the swim is canceled...well, I've been there before and already have a 138.2 badge for my Road ID.

Before I posted that there wasn't a lot of new this training cycle. There weren't new distances to report. And this stuff is just what I do. Here is what was different this training cycle: I was CONSTANTLY out of my comfort zone.

My bike and I went to:

• Panama City Beach for a mini spring break with Stacy and Lane

We didn't just ride our bikes, we cheered too!

• the Gaps with ITL and thankfully Angela rode with me (sag/coaches were great too).

Top of the last climb with Angela and a foggy camera

• Lake Logan for a 70.3

It went really well.

• Chattanooga for tri camp with my coaching team, Dynamo Multisport. Amazing patient coaches and my first 100 of the training cycle with teammates I hadn't met yet who are incredible athletes and super nice.

Photo credit: @WeAreDynamo

• Louisville, KY to meet up with a handful of women from Ironwilled: Women who TRI to preview the course.

Could not have asked for better tour guides or company for the weekend

• Pine Mountain, GA for another tri camp with even more amazing athletes, patient coaches and my very first EVER 120 mile ride followed up with 70 miles (okay fine, 69 miles) the next day.

Me ruining a great picture by laughing. Photo cred: Vallee

• of course weekly trips to the Bud Plant and Silk Sheets (local riding routes) with different friends.

I started going to a Masters Swimming program at Dynamo Swim Club. I've been assured I've improved, but I am usually the first one in the water and the last one out to make sure I get the yardage I needed for my workout. As I explained to someone today, I could swim somewhere else and maybe be in the middle of the pack. But, if I really want to get better, I need to train with the best.

I started going to a computrainer class. Think spin class but on your own bike.

I cheered a bunch of races and even got a chance to provide kayak support. Not because the athletes I am coaching were racing but because it's FUN!

I've been dropped on more rides than I can count. I've also been supported and encouraged and never been made to feel inferior. I got the best compliment from one of my coaches. (I say "one of" because while I have my coach, you know: #mycoachishot, the best byproduct from going to tri camp: I got to know the others coaches and they got to know me.) I told this coach that everyone was so nice and supportive and she told me I earned their respect. I didn't have to be as fast as they were, they respected my work ethic and perseverance.

Coaching with Brent and the Dynamo team has been a really amazing experience for me. And humbling. And encouraging. And frustrating. And absolutely the right choice. I'm going to keep working on becoming more comfortable in my own skin. (Remember, I've acknowledged before I can give anyone a pep talk, but my internal monologue isn't quite as positive.) I've already discussed next year's goals with Brent and we've agreed to continue working together. (Thank God! I've bought a ton of Dynamo clothing to intersperse with my Ironwilled stuff!)

I have similar race anxiety that I did leading up to IMFL. I know this: I have worked my ass off. I've followed the plan I was given. I've been committed 100% to the training/process. You could almost say I should be committed. October 11, 2015 you will find  me jumping into the Ohio River and I'm going to keep going until I cross the finish line or someone tells me my day is done. There are no guarantees on race day, but I promise you this: I'll give it the best I've got. And to answer your question: Yes, I'm ready.